Thomas was waiting at the junction one day, when Percy puffed up. He greeted him, and squinted, as Thmas' paint was so bright it was blinding him. So, Percy being Percy, he says, "You get a new coat of paint, Thomas?" An Thomas replies, "Nope, they painted my wheels, and I got a free body job!"
I love those, I'll do one...
Billy had loaded twenty trucks full of coal and was getting ready to take them to Brendam when Whiff arrived. "Taking goods train are you Billy?" "Nope, no I just like to use all the coal in the hopper there, just to see how many trucks it takes."
-blows dust off of thread and shakes it out like a rug- Ooh, a quarter!
Percy was working at a gas station. Don't ask me how, he just was. Hit can explain. He was about to go home for the night when a UFO dropped down onto the parking lot, squashing a screaming old lady and knocking over a truck. James, who was sitting there nearby, asked frantically to Percy. "It's a UFO Percy! Do you know what that means?!" Percy rolled his eyes and said, "Yes, I've worked here for a while you know. Unleaded Fuel Only!"
Thomas was puffing along his branch line, across a river. As he rumbled over the bridge, he saw some people fishing - Thomas often wanted to stay and watch. However, his driver said "No! What would the Fat Controller say if we were late?" Thomas replied - "Same thing he always tells us!"
What is Toad when he loses all his money? A broke-van!
Sir Topham Hatt is so fat, he saw Bill and Ben go by and yelled 'Catch those Twinkies!"
One day, Sir Topham Hatt was checking his engines' progress, and also trying to improve their literacy. He started at the yard.
First, Percy came up. "What did you do today, Percy?" asked Sir Topham Hatt. "I took some trucks to the quarry to get them filled with rocks.' "Very good. If you can spell 'rocks', you can get the rest of the day off."
Next was Duck. "What did you do today, Duck?" "I took Percy's trucks to the docks" "Good. If you can spell 'docks', you can get the rest of the day off."
Next was Diesel. "What did you do today, Diesel?" "I tried to help Percy and Duck, but they wheesed me." "They wheeshed you? Just because you're a diesel? That's blatant racial discrimination! If you can spell 'blatant racial discrimination', you can get the rest of the day off."
If you were an employee of British Railways, you'd have 6 weeks holiday and two "Stress". If you were an employee of the North Western Railway, you'd have 6 weeks holiday and one hundred and thirty "Stress".
Good ones! Now for this one, I'll poke a little fun at yours truly...
Before joining SiF, Jim (TT) lived in the remote forests of Canada and had never seen a railway or a steam engine. One day, he decided to fly over and visit his aunt who lived on the Island of Sodor. Upon arriving, Jim was so jetlagged, he slept through the taxi-cab ride to his aunt's place.
He really enjoyed the Sudrian countryside and spending some time with his relatives. At one point, Jim began exploring the surrounding area on his own. About a quarter-mile down a path, he came across a peculiar looking road - which was actually the main railway line. Feeling adventurous, he decided to follow it to see where it lead to.
He wasn't up the line too far before he heard "Whooee to Whoeeee!" -- but didn't know what it was.
He just caught sight of a flash of blue as Gordon's train gave him a hard glancing blow which knocked him to the side of the railway. Luckily for Jim, he only suffered a broken arm, a sprained ankle and a fair number of minor cuts and bruises.
He was released from the hospital just on the eve that he was to fly back to Canada. His aunt and family threw a party for him to celebrate his departure. While in the kitchen to get something, Jim suddenly hears the tea kettle whistling.
He grabs a cricket bat that was near the kitchen door and proceeds to batter and bash the tea kettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His aunt, hearing the commotion, rushes in, sees what's happened and asks...
"JAMES! Why did you ruin my good tea kettle?"
Jim replies, "You're lucky I found it in your kitchen! You have to kill these things when they're small!"
Thanks Here's my final contribution for the next while. I think you'll like this one
The REAL reason why PT Boomer is missing from the TATMR movie...
A vengeful PT Boomer was riding his motorcycle down the Muffle Mountain road when he suddenly slowed down and pulled over. His longcoat had a broken zipper and he just couldn't stand the icy cold air hitting his chest. He then got the idea to wear his coat backwards. It was a little awkward driving this way, but he sped down the road making up for lost time.
As he was going 'round a sharp curve, Boomer lost control and wiped out - in fact, not too far away from Burnett Stone's cottage. Burnett heard the accident, ran out, realized it was his old nemesis, and ran to call Shining Time 9-1-1. They asked him, "Is he showing any signs of life?" "Well," Burnett explained, "he was until I turned his head around the right way!"
Coal was running in short supply on the Island of Sodor. The Fat Controller was looking at alternative fuel sources he could use to ensure the railway kept running as smoothly as possible. After trying with various different wood fuel, mulches and such, he found that the best results came when the wood was mixed with common kitchen spices. In the end, the Fat Controller made all the trains run on thyme.
Here's another old railway joke spiced up with a Sudrian flavor... The Fat Controller was milling about the Knapford Station platform when he spied the Thin Controller sitting in one of Gordon's express train coaches. He looked at his pocket watch and decided that he had a bit of time left before the train departed to have a proper chat with his friend - so inside the coach he went.
They were so enraptured in conversation that the Fat Controller didn't notice until it was too late that the train began to move and was slowly picking up speed.
"I mustn't miss my meeting - I have to get off now!" he gasped to the Thin Controller as he lept to open the coach door.
"Topham, if you jump out now, you're sure to injure yourself!", said the Thin Controller. "Let me hold on to you as you pump your legs. When you're running fast enough, I'll let go of you. You'll then be able to stop yourself before we reach the end of the platform."
The Fat Controller's legs were pumping furiously and Gordon's train was almost near the end of the platform when the Thin Controller let go of him. He managed to slow down with inches to spare before teetering over the platform edge.
Just as the brake coach passed him, a hand grabbed him by the lapels and hauled him back into the train! He turned around to see the guard with a big grin saying to him, "T'is your lucky day, Sir... thought you missed it, didn't you?"
MrMilkDuctor: Most of them are hit era which I don’t mind since this is the I grew up on
Sept 21, 2021 19:07:34 GMT
aspiegurl: IDK where you are but it aired first the year I was born and in reruns until '98. It's on Youtube and there's a wikia for it.
Sept 21, 2021 21:20:27 GMT
MrMilkDuctor: I was born in the 2000s so i I didn’t even watch the reruns from 1993 - 1998, as I said the only time I watch shining time STS was probably on a unknown channel but hey that’s cool to hear
Sept 21, 2021 22:02:48 GMT
dtchapman1: I suppose that is one thing we do have to consider on this forum now. We are pretty much at a point that new members are going to have grown up largely with the HiT era.
Sept 21, 2021 22:26:37 GMT
Two Red Engines: Me, I was born in '96. I didn't really see the episodes when they were first broadcast (Dad's job took us overseas), but I had several VHS tapes from S1-8 - including the AUS releases of Thomas & Gordon, Percy & Harold, Trust Thomas,...
Sept 21, 2021 23:22:57 GMT
Two Red Engines: Story & Song Collection, and Thomas & The Special Letter!
Sept 21, 2021 23:23:27 GMT
MrMilkDuctor: The hit era is actually decent compare to what we have now also the merchandise was just incredible
Sept 21, 2021 23:33:57 GMT
MrMilkDuctor: Two red engines i had only Like 5 DVD’s when I was young sadly I lost 3 of them hopefully you kept all of your VHS tapes
Sept 21, 2021 23:37:21 GMT
Two Red Engines: Thanks! I think I managed to keep most of them (mainly the individual S1-4 releases, as well as my Series 5 box set), as well as two DVDs, an S1-5 compilation ('Truck Loads of Fun') and a Series 6 release, ('The Chocolate Crunch')...
Sept 21, 2021 23:41:07 GMT
Two Red Engines: ...but some were lost to time, and others (mainly the S8 releases!) were just simply given away. Still have about 5 VHS releases (6 if you count the fact that my S5 box set came with two tapes) and those two DVDs, though, so not too bad in my opinion.
Sept 21, 2021 23:42:55 GMT
Two Red Engines: Say, anyone still got copies of their Railway Series books? Me, I've still got my 1997 edition of 'The Complete Collection' (the Gawdry version!), as well as RWS volumes 31, 32 and 40 (along with some stories from RWS 28 and 30 from the TTTE Book Club).
Sept 21, 2021 23:45:44 GMT
MrMilkDuctor: Solid collection right there!
Sept 22, 2021 0:05:56 GMT
MrMilkDuctor: I have the complete first series of the classic collection DVD from 2003 the one that has a menu option,I might post that later and a another one from the hit era a steam team DVD these are the only ones I still have .
Sept 22, 2021 0:06:33 GMT
MrMilkDuctor: Classic Thomas is gonna come back?
Sept 22, 2021 10:15:53 GMT
MrMilkDuctor: Or did I just read that in a wrong way
Sept 22, 2021 10:19:38 GMT
whosgeoffrey: I'm personally inclined to think of it as just another one of Allcroft's very heart-warming messages to the adult fanbase. If she is doing something new with Thomas, I doubt it'll be new episodes, though — maybe the biography she mentioned some time ago?
Sept 22, 2021 12:36:14 GMT
MrMilkDuctor: Yeah that could be true
Sept 22, 2021 13:17:21 GMT